Promotional Considerations
(NOTE: The following is one hundred percent true, give or take a point. This is high gear time, when a book is tossed out into the marketplace and asks to be taken home for a hot meal or at least a snack. Support your local bookstore and lay down the cash for DOG WALKED. Credit cards are also accepted. Am I a second printing yet?)
As this post is being read across continents and oceans, truckloads of THE DOG WALKED DOWN THE STREET: AN OUTSPOKEN GUIDE FOR WRITERS WHO WANT TO PUBLISH ($13.95, paperback, ISBN: 978-1-879384-66-8) are scarring freeways from Ontario to Northern California. The Cypress House shipping department sits on their hands in wait for the shipment to arrive the first week of September. What joy and caroling of bells in the town of Fort Bragg! Will belly dancers, fire-eaters, and corn dog vendors join in greeting the anticipated bound books? Of course. Selling is even more fun than writing and production. There are people to meet, promises to make, hands to shake, babies to kiss, and repetitive stress injuries from signing heartfelt dedications. Buy my book and your skin rash will be a distant memory, no smelly salves required.
The timing is perfect. I had threatened to shave my head and dye the stubble purple if DOG WALKED waited any longer for its stylish strut along the shelves and into the hearts of literate America. Publisher Cynthia Frank made calming noises and sent a box of canned food by UPS. Waiting for a book to come off the press is like waiting for a date with an unfamiliar woman. The anxiety level needs to be experienced for full appreciation. Will she or won’t she be as cool as I thought? Will the book be as good as I hope, or another marked-down mistake for the remainder table? I’m betting on the woman and the book. The publisher is smart and the gamble is only on the timing, not the content. Ms. Frank told me to have this attitude. Yes ma’am.
DOG WALKED will be available at independent and chain bookstores. If your local store has yet to pile stacks in window displays, be pleasant when reminding them of the error. They can order books through Baker & Taylor, Ingram, Partners/West, selected library wholesalers, and Cypress House at www.cypresshouse.com. For those who shop online on account of parking problems, log on to www.cypresshouse.com and swell places like Powells.com, Amazon.com, and BarnesandNoble.com. DOG WALKED is preaching from the pulpit in Europe at Amazon.de, and in Canada for those who can complete a sentence without adding “eh” at Amazon.ca.
THOSE WHO CAN, TEACH
I will teach at The Learning Annex in Los Angeles on September 11, and again in San Francisco on September 21. Copies of DOG WALKED will be available for purchase at both classes, and signed for polite people who ask politely. Books will also be signed for rude people who ask politely. Rude people who ask rudely will be politely asked to take their nonsense outside.
“Write Your Story and Launch Your Career as a Published Writer!” promises to be an irreverent and informative tour through the publication process, from idea to manuscript to finished book. You will learn:
How to write a compelling story
The importance of rewriting
How to find an agent who cares about your work
How publishing companies work
The care and feeding of in-house editors
Why new writers must promote their books
And more!
Log on to www.learningannex.com, or call (415) 788-5500 in San Francisco, (310) 478-6677 in Los Angeles. Sign up for the class now, not later. Preferred seating is guaranteed for those who can define a subordinate conjunction without using complex compound sentences.
More news of signings and publicity are promised to be posted, and more regularly. An easy supplemental income for writers used to be book reviews. The books given for review were quickly sold to used bookstores before the writer’s keyboard cooled, and added a couple of dollars to the final low amount for the labor. As a break from books and bookish things, I write gallery reviews and interviews for FOCUS: FINE ART PHOTOGRAPHY MAGAZINE. This is a terrific publication, handsomely printed, and an unbeatable bargain at $5.95 per issue. The magazine comes out monthly and full of the latest in contemporary photography, exhibit reviews, interviews, and appreciations of photographers past and present. Get a copy at your local newsstand, or contact FOCUS online at www.focusmag.info.
Any more plugs? Not yet.
NEXT: Get Along Little DOG
(NOTE: The following is one hundred percent true, give or take a point. This is high gear time, when a book is tossed out into the marketplace and asks to be taken home for a hot meal or at least a snack. Support your local bookstore and lay down the cash for DOG WALKED. Credit cards are also accepted. Am I a second printing yet?)
As this post is being read across continents and oceans, truckloads of THE DOG WALKED DOWN THE STREET: AN OUTSPOKEN GUIDE FOR WRITERS WHO WANT TO PUBLISH ($13.95, paperback, ISBN: 978-1-879384-66-8) are scarring freeways from Ontario to Northern California. The Cypress House shipping department sits on their hands in wait for the shipment to arrive the first week of September. What joy and caroling of bells in the town of Fort Bragg! Will belly dancers, fire-eaters, and corn dog vendors join in greeting the anticipated bound books? Of course. Selling is even more fun than writing and production. There are people to meet, promises to make, hands to shake, babies to kiss, and repetitive stress injuries from signing heartfelt dedications. Buy my book and your skin rash will be a distant memory, no smelly salves required.
The timing is perfect. I had threatened to shave my head and dye the stubble purple if DOG WALKED waited any longer for its stylish strut along the shelves and into the hearts of literate America. Publisher Cynthia Frank made calming noises and sent a box of canned food by UPS. Waiting for a book to come off the press is like waiting for a date with an unfamiliar woman. The anxiety level needs to be experienced for full appreciation. Will she or won’t she be as cool as I thought? Will the book be as good as I hope, or another marked-down mistake for the remainder table? I’m betting on the woman and the book. The publisher is smart and the gamble is only on the timing, not the content. Ms. Frank told me to have this attitude. Yes ma’am.
DOG WALKED will be available at independent and chain bookstores. If your local store has yet to pile stacks in window displays, be pleasant when reminding them of the error. They can order books through Baker & Taylor, Ingram, Partners/West, selected library wholesalers, and Cypress House at www.cypresshouse.com. For those who shop online on account of parking problems, log on to www.cypresshouse.com and swell places like Powells.com, Amazon.com, and BarnesandNoble.com. DOG WALKED is preaching from the pulpit in Europe at Amazon.de, and in Canada for those who can complete a sentence without adding “eh” at Amazon.ca.
THOSE WHO CAN, TEACH
I will teach at The Learning Annex in Los Angeles on September 11, and again in San Francisco on September 21. Copies of DOG WALKED will be available for purchase at both classes, and signed for polite people who ask politely. Books will also be signed for rude people who ask politely. Rude people who ask rudely will be politely asked to take their nonsense outside.
“Write Your Story and Launch Your Career as a Published Writer!” promises to be an irreverent and informative tour through the publication process, from idea to manuscript to finished book. You will learn:
How to write a compelling story
The importance of rewriting
How to find an agent who cares about your work
How publishing companies work
The care and feeding of in-house editors
Why new writers must promote their books
And more!
Log on to www.learningannex.com, or call (415) 788-5500 in San Francisco, (310) 478-6677 in Los Angeles. Sign up for the class now, not later. Preferred seating is guaranteed for those who can define a subordinate conjunction without using complex compound sentences.
More news of signings and publicity are promised to be posted, and more regularly. An easy supplemental income for writers used to be book reviews. The books given for review were quickly sold to used bookstores before the writer’s keyboard cooled, and added a couple of dollars to the final low amount for the labor. As a break from books and bookish things, I write gallery reviews and interviews for FOCUS: FINE ART PHOTOGRAPHY MAGAZINE. This is a terrific publication, handsomely printed, and an unbeatable bargain at $5.95 per issue. The magazine comes out monthly and full of the latest in contemporary photography, exhibit reviews, interviews, and appreciations of photographers past and present. Get a copy at your local newsstand, or contact FOCUS online at www.focusmag.info.
Any more plugs? Not yet.
NEXT: Get Along Little DOG
posted by Unknown at
5:44 PM
4 Comments:
I cannot wait! For the book! To see you! The fame and fortune... Woooooohoooooo!
Dress accordingly. The LA shindig will be black tie. Anyone wearing tie-dye at the SF class will be asked to cover up.
Mr. Detroit Here, Just got back from Florida. Met my Brazillian maids down there for margarita's and some fun in the sun. Great to here that the book is now in the stores. Please send me 500 copies ASAP autographed of coarse.The women in Brazil are waiting to get started in the publishing world. Got to go now and wash my thong out, you know what salt water can do to those things
Later,
To restore pH in your garment, soak in one part lemon juice and ten parts tap water for at least three hours, then rinse well. This is also useful in treating abrasions and chaffing.
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