TAKING CHARGE OF COLOR: The Beauty of the Leash


(NOTE: Well Delilah was a woman fine and fair / She had good looks and coal black hair / Delilah, she came to Samson’s mind / The first he saw this woman that looked so fine / Delilah, she set down on Samson’s knee / Said tell me where your strength lies if you please / She spoke so kind, she talked so fair / ‘Till Samson said “Delilah, you can cut off my hair / You can shave my head, clean as my hand / And my strength ‘come as natural as any a man” / If I had my way / If I had my way in this wicked world / If I had my way / I would tear this old building down)


A story is more than a collection of sentences arranged on the page. It must include the reader, make them experience what goes on between the characters, or when using first person, be the character. How this is done is by choosing the right word or phrase; piling on adjectives is as useless as buying dance shoes for a mollusk. A snail remains a snail regardless of how much encouragement it is given.

What is the punch and bounce that makes writing lively? This is called color. Editors and writing teachers ask for more color with comments in margins of manuscripts, and mean more description. A wall can be a white wall, a brown wall, a broken plaster wall, or glass brick wall. Other comments will follow if the specifics of the wall miss reflecting the scene, characters, and action.

METAPHORICALLY SPEAKING

The Crayola box is far from empty. Sitting in front with a sharp point is your friend the metaphor. These can be dismal, like John Bunyan’s “the slough of despond,” and also slip into the cheery, “happy as a clam.” (This has nothing to do with the mollusk mentioned above; clams are bivalves and very tasty when steamed with garlic and white wine. Besides, the phrase, “as useless as,” makes this an analogy instead of a metaphor. ) Metaphors can make the abstract more concrete, as in “Bernice tumbled off the mountain of Ira’s indifference.” To only say he was indifferent makes the interrelation of the characters abstract. Using a metaphor makes the emotional state concrete, gives a sense of striving to overcome this obstacle, and shows the wreckage caused by pursuing this haughty twit.

One metaphor in one paragraph is enough. When the following paragraph has a sentence like, “The cold war between Bernice and Ira soon escalated into mutually assured destruction,” this obscures the relationship between the two and the story dissolves into a collection of nifty lines with other stuff in between that is forgotten. Using strong metaphors calls for a surgeon’s touch, placing them right where they need to be, and when.

Think of the metaphor as an active analogy where you take out the boring “as” and make the thing real. Since metaphors are figures of speech there are divisions to make it easier on academics and those without a stable relationship. Allegory is an extended metaphor that illuminates an important part of the subject. Catachresis is a mixed metaphor used on purpose. The parable is an extended metaphor that comes off as an anecdote and teaches a moral lesson for those who need the lesson or a slathering of unfamiliar morality.

WILLIAMS TO THE RESCUE

No mention of metaphors is complete without a tip of the hat and nod and wink to poet and raconteur Jonathan Williams. He created the four words per line form in the mid-1980s and below is an excerpt from his “Poem Beginning with Five Words by Gerard Manley Hopkins.” We miss you, Jonathan. Think of what you could do with Michelle Bachmann.

beauty’s what bites you
on the butt and
don't leave a hickey
on monday morning we
must be kind to
jesse helms you must
brake for senior republican
senators from north carolina


STOCK UP IN ADVANCE FOR THE NEXT NATURAL DISASTER

During uncertain economic times, the best and most inexpensive companion is a book. No restaurant reservations, no taxi fares, and no regrets. Better than a book is a book about books, especially publishing them. Jump and run to the nearest independent bookstore for one copy, or several, of THE DOG WALKED DOWN THE STREET: AN OUTSPOKEN GUIDE FOR WRITERS WHO WANT TO PUBLISH (Cypress House, $13.95). Inside are thrills and chills without the unsightly parade of zombies, vampires, and Republicans. Online readers can click over to www.indiebound.com for books when and how they want.


NEXT: De-worming Makes New Friends

THE TRUFFLE HOUND IS GONE: Orthodontics for Blue-tick Hounds


(NOTE: Winter is over and the longer days are lit with sunshine. Read a good book into the twilight, not crap like James Frey’s new novel that he pimps as recompense for his phony memoirs. Try Stendahl’s THE RED AND THE BLACK, Arturo Perez-Reverte’s THE QUEEN OF THE SOUTH, or Ovid’s METAMORPHOSIS. Slip on your reading glasses and indulge. Burn your television set.)


Poet and publisher Jonathan Williams passed away on March 16, eight days into his seventy-ninth year, at his home in Highlands, North Carolina. He studied with Charles Olson at Black Mountain College, where he also began making books as The Jargon Society. Williams published and championed poets like Olson, Mina Loy, Lorine Niedecker, Joel Oppenheimer, and James Broughton. His own work showed a delight in the possibilities of the word, from his early AN EAR IN BARTRAM’S TREE (NY: New Directions, 1969) to JUBILANT THICKET: NEW AND SELECTED POEMS (Port Townsend, WA: Copper Canyon Press, 2004). Jonathan was also a first class essayist, gourmand, hiker of the Appalachian Trail and Dentdale, and photographer.

Conversation with Jonathan went everywhere: baseball, the novels of K.C. Constantine, the dumbing down of education, Gustav Mahler symphonies, outsider art, and how the beer at a roadside tavern near Black Mountain College made the greatest impact on contemporary letters. He praised the honest and damned the fools with his voluptuary pen.

Writing about Jonathan Williams in the past tense is wrong. He breathes and stomps the terra in every book out there with his name on the front cover. That some are of print should not dissuade anyone from the search. The gentleman from North Carolina deserves no less. Tip a fork to the memory of Jonathan with a plate of his favorite Hoppin’ John.


HOPPIN' JOHN

2 cups black-eyed peas
1 large onion
4 cups chicken broth
1 pound unsliced bacon
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 cups long-grain white rice

Anyone who knows anything about cooking dried legumes knows that before they go into the pot the peas must be pawed through to pick out the rocks. Put them in a bowl filled with cold water and let sit while listening to Anton Bruckner, and then drain and rinse.

In a large pot, place the clean black-eyed peas and fill with enough water to cover. Set the burner a touch under high heat until the peas boil. Turn off the heat, slap on a lid, and let the peas sit for one hour as you read Basil Bunting to your guests. Drain the peas in a colander and rinse.

Chop the onion. In the same pot, combine chicken broth, black-eyed peas, bacon, onion, and red pepper. Keep the heat to medium for 1-1/2 hours. This is not the time to be fooling with music and poetry. Watch the pot so it never boils. Take out the bacon and cut into manageable pieces. Stir the bacon and uncooked rice into the pot. Use the lid again and let simmer for 25 minutes or until liquid is sucked into the rice and peas. Serve to six of your best friends.


A CLASS FOR THOSE WITH CLASS

“Book Proposals Basics for Beginners” is a one-day workshop taught by me and sponsored by Book Passage on Saturday, August 9, 2008. The event will be held from 10:00 AM to 4:00 PM at 51 Tamal Vista Boulevard in Corte Madera, CA.

The book proposal is the single most important tool in the development of a book. It is a sales tool for the writer to find an agent, and through them a publisher. The proposal also provides a map for the final manuscript. Topics include query letters, writing for clarity, research, developing a platform, and working with agents. Sal Glynn is a freelance editor and writer who has edited more than 300 books for publishers on both coasts, and the writer of THE DOG WALKED DOWN THE STREET: AN OUTSPOKEN GUIDE FOR WRITERS WHO WANT TO PUBLISH. The gig costs $95 (an outrageous bargain) and enrollment is through the Book Passage Bookstore:

51 Tamal Vista Boulevard
Corte Madera, CA 94925
(415) 927-0960
(800) 999-7909
Fax (415) 924-3838
www.bookpassage.com


NEXT: Howls From the Kennel